Shifting Last Year's Struggles to our Amazing Growth Year!
/“ I can’t wait for this horribly hard year to be over and to start next year fresh”, I thought...again.
Wait, what?
It’s then I realized, I’m wishing away the present - and all the good things in it - just to try to get away from the struggles, the challenges, the sad moments, the fear.
How many times do I feel like I’ve missed too many moments in my childrens lives, that I didn’t cherish them enough? Just maybe it has something to do with me wanting to rush through everything just to “get it over with”.
Not anymore I say. Not Anymore.
Today I start re-framing our “challenge year” into the year we had amazing growth, growth I could have never dreamed up.
With every challenge was a beautiful amazing memory I never want to give up.
At the beginning of the year we had this opportunity to come together as a family. Mitch’s Nana has been with us a few weeks in December 18’ and we were exhausted from taking care of her 24/7, not to mention our little KJ had yet to be categorized as a good sleeper.
One night I broke down and told Mitch I thought my postpartum depression was getting the better of me. More like postpartum rage to be honest.
“One night I broke down and told Mitch I thought my postpartum depression was getting the better of me. More like postpartum rage to be honest. ”
The most amazing thing happened, we just came up with a plan of action and implemented it swiftly, together. The entire family was in a much better place within two weeks.
Telling Mitch how much trouble I was having was terrifying. The amazing part was just how quickly things shifted when I opened up and was willing to receive help. He didn’t swoop in and create a fix, we came together and worked a plan, and I kept my power by being a part of the solution.
Spring brought the deadline of completing our Airbnb renovation. The Airbnb idea was something we had before we moved from the last house. It seemed like a good way to make some passive-ish income while I was still home with the kids.
I was spending a lot of time saying things like “if it does well” and “if it’s booked often”. At one point Mitch looked at me and said I had to stop that. Either we were doing this because it was going to work, or what was the point?
From there we had a total mindset shift. It was going to book, it was going to be profitable, so what did we need to do to get ready for that!?
It’s pretty incredible what comes out of a mindset shift like that, and March proved that to me. We started booking in March for April before even completing the punch list . By April 1st we were 95% book the entire month! We completed the punch list and opened with bookings into the summer.
I’ll add that we envisioned a Airbnb sort of like the Bed-and-Breakfast Forest Gump’s mother ran. A place not only where we could make income for our family, but where our children would get experiences with all kinds of interesting people.
What’s amazing?! It’s been just that, incredible people stay with us that enrich our lives everyday.
The couple of weeks after the Suite opened for business were wild fun with us building two chicken coops for the 40 chickens we had arriving.
We had chicken for the previous two years but our coop was in disarray and we needed something bigger.
Ultimately, we had a dream that the kids would grow up learning from taking care of the chickens and coops. It felt worthwhile creating the experience for our whole family.
Being DIYers at heart we really wanted to design and build the coops ourselves by scratch. But time was of the essence. The current coop wasn’t going to hold up another year and we loved making fresh eggs every morning!
Ultimately we decided to get shed kits and modify them into coops. Saving time and money while still getting quality (and cuteness!).
The 40 chickens we got were crowded into one coop for a few days while Mitch and his boss finished the second one. But they made it happen! And the hens (or buck-bucks as we call them) loved their new homes.
The end of the school year brought a very big project to us.
Earlier in the spring I had been asked to join the House Corporation board of my Sorority at UMass-Amherst, Chi Omega.
As summer began, I began a huge renovation of the house with all new windows, ceilings, living room remodel, mailroom and kitchen makeover.
The project was a challenge to say the least. The windows and some ceilings were original to the 1970’s building. Cracked inefficient windows, ceiling tiles falling down. It was a mess, that needed to be worked on ASAP for the fall’s sisterhood. So, in conjunction with a team of folks who care about this household, we fixed all that.
The amazing part was how much got done, in such a small amount of time. All new windows, ceilings, a kitchen makeover, we moved the mailroom, and completely remodeled the living room (which is the size of three put together). Last minute we added an office.
The living room turned out to be the best creation, hands down. Modernizing the space and giving the sisters a comfortable, trendy space to come together in. So they can educate themselves, continue doing there community work, fundraising for Make-a-wish. The intention for the living room was to create a space they could call home and help them create a purposeful college experience.
This experience was thrilling for all of us. Pumped up to create something amazing for these collegians, we sacrificed the families last summer before our daughter started Pre-school.
I learned more about myself as a mother, entrepreneur and designer in those weeks than I could have ever imagined. So I would never take back the experience.
I also would never re-create the same hectic summer again, essentially robbing my children of their summer. Constant balance is an illusion but some balance is necessary for the health of our family.
Then, Mid-summer we got the call that Nana had to move back in. This time on hospice and totally bedridden.
She was with us for three weeks until she passed
peacefully a few days after her 96th birthday.
We ran the Airbnb and continued work in the Chi Omega project. Of course Mitch still had his career to attend too . We also had 2 kids, 2 dogs, and my mother living in the house. Not to mention the 40 chickens…
I can’t lie, I was terrified of cracking. I’m sure I wasn’t the only one. With lots of frustration and plenty of tears, we triumphed.
Triumphed? Is that the right word…. when you had a death at the end? I believe in my heart it is. Nana was ready to pass on, I know this because she kept on asking me why she was still here? Why was she Imprisioned in a bed, forced to have her grandchildren take care of things she would never have wished upon them…. at the time I had no answer.
Hindsight is 20/20 and my answer today would be:
You still have some things to teach us about ourselves, Nana. You’re still here because all of your grandchildren need this experience to become their future selves.
You have one more lesson to bestow. GRIT.
The deepest of thank you’s for this lesson. I wouldn’t take back one second of my experience with you. I’m proud of my husband, my children, my brother and law and family, and of myself. Amazed and proud.
“I’m proud of my husband, my children, my brother and law and his family, and of myself. Amazed and proud.”
Jumping into the Fall we wrapped up the Chi Omega project, and subsequently saw our daughter off for her first day of school.
Mitch also found a great deal on a camper and snagged it up! We had been tent campers as young lovers but it hadn’t worked out so great with a young family. This camper was a dream of ours and opportunity knocked!
Much like everything we embark on, it needs some fixing up. But we took it out anyways and had two fantastic camping trips in the fall before storing it over winter.
It’s calling to us in 2020, and we can’t wait to take it out again.
Before
After
Another great experience of the year was the downstairs bathroom remodel.
Its started as a 6-week one room challenge, and turned into a 12-week full remodel.
The best part was that it took twice as long as expected and we just went with the flow. After one initial mini argument over the timeline Mitch and I dropped it.
Throughout the years working together has become easier and easier. But this project took it to a whole new level. Every challenge was easily solved, every opportunity presented itself with ease.
We didn’t even think we needed to replace the entire shower, and when it turned out we did, we created the best shower we could ever imagine within our constraints.
The Budget? Came out awesome for a full bathroom remodel.
The Design? Incredible. We implemented a shower system and design that we’ve never seen before. EVEN ON PINTEREST.
The Function? Amazing. All of us use this space (3 adults and two children) and we have maximized every square inch within the budget. Even building a killer hidden recessed cabinet.
Makes me excited for the next opportunity we get to create a space together.
So that’s it! Our year of amazing, via blog post. I’ll actually be creating a photo book for the kids to look and read as they grow, Year after year.
My intention is that it will portray a realistic picture of our years and how everyone grows from the challenges, creating the life of their dreams bit by bit!
What are some of the struggles you can re-frame from last year? Does it change your perspective on what comes out of a challenge year?
